I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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