I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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