I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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