last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize