its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
