Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
