He told me they were just razor bumps!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
MIDGETS
????
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize