This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
