Tell her she can't have a vagina
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
nutella sex= disaster
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
