Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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