College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
