ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
