Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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