you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
