I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
