there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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