He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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