I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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