she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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