Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
