ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
