Small penises have feelings too.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
false alarm. still invincible.
please come you make the beer taste better
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it glows. i had to have it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
