Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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