I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
