Cold hands, warm shart.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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