It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
