i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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