This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
