I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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