so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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