i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
