I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
