My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
