then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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