the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
