Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
