I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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