I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
