I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
