dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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