Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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