I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
