I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
