Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This is my gift to your gina
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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