what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
