I heard we made out
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
