nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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