I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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