I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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