Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
