We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Randomize
