Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
