My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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