How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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