what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
