I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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