i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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