Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
