Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
