I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
