My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
