i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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