sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
