Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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