i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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